Nekopara - Catboys Paradise -- No Spoiler Review
Nekopara - Catboys Paradise
System: PC
Price: Free
Voice Acting: Yes (Japanese)
ESRB Rating: No Rating, Reviewer Suggests T (13+)
Overall Rating: Stole 7/10 ♥s
Pre-Game Perception: Run a café with catboys. Yeah, no expectations here.
Morning-After Reflection: The fluffiest fluff I’ve ever played, and I loved it. Ahem. A set of short kinetic novels about catboys, meant to be played like a drama CD (so hit auto and just enjoy the sound of sexy nekomen).
Story: “Your grandfather has recently passed away and you end up inheriting his café and house. You intend to keep the café running as a tribute to your grandfather, but you have no idea as to where to start. That's when a school gets in touch with you and asks if you are willing to host some trainees who have some experience in running a café. You take the offer without much hesitation. To your surprise, however, the trainees are not four humans but four humanoid cats! Humanoid cat workers aren’t that rare these days, but this is still your first time interacting with one. And thus, your story begins as you work alongside four catboys!”
Interest Rating: 10/10. Yeah, no, I’m serious. I counted down the days for this. Why? It doesn’t sound like my thing, right? Well, because we all thought NekoWorks were cowards and had leaked Nekopara - Catboys Paradise as a joke (on April 1st). Then they said, “Hey, joke’s on you, we were joking about it being a joke!” And it was voiced! And free! So, yeah, I’m not even into fluffy games. I’m not even into catboys. But I needed this.
MC: So, there is a MC, but there kind of isn’t. Yeah... this is the most absent MC I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t even have text lines. Literally the only way she responds to anyone is through a series of about four emojis that pop up next to the text box, and a few types of screen shakes to signify yes, no, or sudden movement. Then the LIs relay what just happened. It’s super weird. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen in a VN. Even weirder than the eyeless monsters that haunt my dreams. But! If you have ever listened to ASMR or drama CDs, then you’ll know that this is the only way for voiced characters to include the listener in the story. And that’s what we get. A complete self-insert MC with no words and no voice, who gets flustered at physical contact and is so average that practically anyone would be able to fit in the role.
There is one CG where you get to see some of the MC, and a few others where you get parts of her. She’s dark-haired - which looks purple to me, but I think it is just a form of black, perhaps? She’s probably short, at least shorter than 5’8” since that’s our shortest catboy and she’s shorter than that. And that’s about all we know about her.
Likability Rating: Nin. Not a complete failure, as I can see the effectiveness of having a completely silent MC. Having her easily flustered at nearly every pass made at her, having her be extraordinarily dull, having her still fit the mold of every demure otome MC in existence while also expecting us to self-insert with no ability to actually insert ourselves… You guessed it! That is what earns the low grade from me.
Plot: There isn’t much of a plot for Nekopara - Catboys Paradise. The story starts explaining exactly the same thing the store page tells you. MC’s grandfather died and now she’s going to run his cafe, and has temporarily been given four catboys to help her run it. There are a few little bits of information like how catboys are not rare in this world; they apparently attend a school that teaches them how to… well, the best way I can explain it is to fill in for temp work. And the biggest plot point in the story is that these catboys want to find their forever home-- again, my words, not the game’s. In the game they talk about finding a permanent owner and becoming a housecat. And that’s about it. Really. No, really. Yes, really really.
The kinetic novel runs through prepping to open the cafe in the common route, then the first day of the cafe being open takes place once you pick a nekoboi to play with. From there it is a short chapter of spending a day or two with your chosen feline friend, and then they express a desire to stay with you forever-- but it’s totally cool if you want to wait for a bit before you decide who you’re going to keep as your housecat, if anyone. Fin. As in “The End.”
Replayability Rating: ★★☆☆☆ Each nekoman has their own route, but it is nothing but fluff with no plot and no choices, so do with that information what you will. I still enjoyed it.
Love Interests: Are you ready to be wooed by men with ears that wiggle and tails that flick? I’m going to tell you right meow that cats are cats are cats. There are more than a few times that the difference between catboys and humans is brought up, but always explained away as just being how catboys are. Case in point.
But besides it not being strange at all for catboys to lick things, these four have a few quirks that bring out their own cattiness. The point of each route is to get to know your chosen nekoboi and find out what sort of quirkiness they bring to the table that you will either love or hate, but in every case you’ll consider them to date. Unfortunately, you don’t get that far. Nekopara - Catboys Paradise is rather short, and feels ultimately unfinished. I mentioned this in the plot, but I’ll re-emphasize it here: There are no actual relationships built in this game. You don’t technically date your employees, and you never choose a housecat. It gets left off with a nebulous ending that could prove to have additional material in the future. I do believe that NekoWorks was testing this out to see what the reception was because everyone knows that romance games catering to women is totally not a viable market… Since there is no plot, and since there are no choices besides whose route you pick, there is no recommended order to go with. So give a glance at all these gentlemenkitties and pick the one that seems the most pleasing to mew.
Fennel is coined as “the supportive catboy who aims for perfection,” so if you’re not into the helpful instructor sort, this might not be the route for you. I started with Fennel since it seemed that my friends were least interested in him. I wanted to make my café succeed with this good catboy who offered advice and just wants to be the best nekoman he can be. I’m also a little weak for the megane characters; with a suit that looks like it was chosen by an eccentric catboy, and a take-charge attitude, Fennel offers the friend and mentor that we all wish we had. If you’re into power dynamics thrown into question, this is the route for you. I’m not sure if you’re the manager of the café or if Fennel is. Either way, mew two have a ways to go before you’re ready for progressing this relationship past comfortable silence while you both spend time in each other’s company.
After Fennel, I cautiously approached Sage to give the big guy a go. Based on interactions in the common route I figured he was the himbo of the group, and though he isn’t completely hopeless, his route sure is full of misunderstandings and big dumb mewments. He seems to be the only catboy not focusing on “beating” out the other catboys at becoming MC’s housecat. In fact, he self-adopts MC as his little sister because he is “the strong, yet kind-hearted older brother” character in the game. This can be weird for some, since he says he sees MC like a sister, and then later wants to show physical affection as cats are wont to do. I didn’t see anything wrong with it because Sage is a big, not so bright, bengal that just wants to protect and love MC and what do you call that when you’ve only known each other for a day? Big brother sounds reasonable to me! Let’s do our best, oniisan!
Finally it was time to cuddle with Laurier, who made it very clear he was attempting to put himself in the position of housecat with or without my consent. “The sleepy prince who does things in his own way” certainly made an impression on me. It might be because of his seiyuu, because I’ve been crushing on Ishikawa Kaito since December of last year, or at least his voice acting. But I think it was also because this catboy was introduced by taking a nap on the MC’s lap. He nuzzled and nya’d his way into my heart, making this chaste game a little more racy than it should have been. One reviewer on Steam said “One of the catboys moaned in my ear and I had to stop playing and rethink what I was doing with my life.” Laurier would be that catboy. I know exactly what part that was too, because I had similar thoughts and I’m still not certain how I feel about it. Too sensual to handle.
I had decided to leave Dill for last, not because I didn’t want to spend time with this rare breed, but because the cutie garnered most of my attention. “The adorable catboy fashionista” was exactly what he presented himself as. He’s the cute best friend that wants to be more than that. He’s the one that sees MC as an equal, is honest, genuinely helpful, and you just want to give head-pats to all the time. And Dill likes them too! So give him all the head-pats. I do wish that he wasn’t super into fashion and make-up, because that isn’t my thing, but I get that it’s a large draw for the women out there that enjoy the cosmetic and clothing industry. Is Dill the cutest catboy? Yeah, probably. You’ll certainly get the most compliments in this route.
Boy Crazy Rating: 93%. I’ll court any of these catboys right meow. With the possibility of adopting all of them as MC’s housecats, I just want to say that a harem route would guarantee that I throw my money at NekoWorks. Let me love the lovely nekomen.
Romance: This was supposed to be an otome, right? Nyaaaa. Okay, meow that I got that cat pun out of the way because I’ve been trying so hard to do it naturally, I’m sorry to be the one to inform you that the romance is more than lacking. It’s dead, Jim. All the catboys do end up liking the MC, but she’s so spastic about their normal cat affection that I can’t even with the way MC responds to their manly affections. I’m almost glad that the MC can’t say anything, because a flustered, stuttering mess really isn’t my favored fancy feast. I would like to see where this could go, with a more… assertive MC. They’ve got a great opportunity for some power dynamics here, and I’m all for that.
Heart Palpitation Rating: F-. That’s right, I gave it an ‘F-’. Didn’t know you could minus ‘F’s, did you? I give this romance two paws down. There is little to no relationship building and it never even comes close to romance.
Spice: The well is dry. You’ll be parched in this desert devoid of spice. I did just watch the new Dune trailer, so that is where my mind went. The spice must flow! Unfortunately, the spice is not flowing. There was literally one moment when a catty catboy moans a sensual nyaa in your ear, and there were some super mildly suggestive portions, like being licked or kissed that was never shown and only implied based on dialogue. But I can even count those implied portions on one hand, they certainly did not make up the bulk of this game. I’m sorry to say it, but you’re going to be thirsty for these nekomen.
Cold Shower Rating: Fail. There’s no play fighting with these cute kitties. You might be feeling the warm and fuzzies because of how cute the story is in addition to how soft they are, but the only burning you’ll get is that of your eyes if you’re allergic. Cold shower not recommended to relieve symptoms.
Angst: How fluffy do you think a game can be? Nekopara - Catboys Paradise is that fluffy. And then some. Maybe even some more on top of that fluffy fluff of fluff. This is literally the fluffiest game I have ever played. There is no plot, there is no conflict except that the catboys are trying to find their forever home with the MC and she has to pick one two all of them? It’s super cute. It’s super slice-of-life. I’m a bit shocked at how much I enjoyed it despite there being no threat of death and destruction. You guys know how much I like my threats of death and destruction. Get your good feels on, because Nekopara - Catboys Paradise is all about the cute and cuddly catboys.
Drama Llama Rating: 1/10. Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without the drama llama? Now’s your chance to check it out. See no drama, hear no drama, speak no drama.
Voice Acting: Serious question here: How many times can one listen to Ishikawa Kaito breathing while he’s sleeping as his character before it’s too many? Asking for a friend. If you didn’t guess it, Ishikawa Kaito plays the character Laurier, the sleeping prince. He stole the show, if you ask me. But that doesn’t mean the rest weren’t also adorable impressive. Enoki Junya was absolutely adorable as Dill, the younger fashionista that reminded me of so many young, cute blonds in otome. Sage was voiced by Umehara Yuuichirou, the big boy with a kind heart. And Komada Wataru voiced Fennel, our know-it-all perfectionist. Everyone hit the right notes and the right lines at the right time. The talent was almost overwhelming, though some of the seiyuus haven’t held many roles. I think they were a delight to listen to.
Expression Rating: Yu. Some of these guys carried the rest, but no one really was slacking in the first place. I suppose the lack of plot really stunted the range of expressions that the seiyuus could have given us, so not a perfect score, but still good!
Art: As much as I want to say that the art is great, it has its problems. First, let me tell you the art is pretty good! Even if it is a consolation before I get to the bad of it. The sprites are all unique, and the idea behind real life cat breeds being the design direction is pretty cool, imo. You also get an okay assortment of catboys, despite there only being four. You get the taichi-type guy, the pretty guy, the young guy, and the regal-looking guy; more variety in body types than most otome, tbh. They all get two costumes, and a few facial expressions along with a few poses. All of this is reasonable and even positive. The art is something I enjoy, as the lines for the characters are dark and hard (like my coffee beans), and the colors are the usual flat palate in anime-style. Pretty spiffy!
Here it comes. The problem I spoke of earlier is that the sprites are rendered in lower quality than they were used for. See, they look great from a distance, when everyone is where they should be on the screen; but the game decides to do close ups of the sprites when the characters get closer, and… It’s not pretty. They become blurry and distorted, pixelated even. They clearly weren’t designed to be used in this fashion, and yet somehow they got the greenlight to be published as is. It’s not attractive, and a little insulting for a company that has provided superior work in their other “male-oriented” Nekopara games to give this quality to “female-oriented” consumers.
Yes, yes, you can argue that it is free, but that is a feeble excuse seeing as how there are many other games that are free and utilize their art in a manner that enhances their strengths, not detracts from their work. Not only that, but there are non-art related corners that are already being cut because it was a free game. I’m not asking for the company to offer all the bells and whistles for a free product, I’m just asking that they provide the best they can do with their budget/product. If I buy a $1 taco, I expect a taco for $1 to have fattier meat in it, perhaps no dairy, and be pretty much just lettuce and meat and that’s it. Yeah, that’s reasonable. I don’t expect them to give me wilted lettuce, or tell me it’s Kobe beef but it clearly isn’t Kobe based on the quality, or even add in day-old, hardened cheese and watered down sour cream because that’s all they can afford to do for $1. Don’t try to fancy it up with sub-par materials.
Still Picture Rating: ★★★★☆ Many catboy. Such blur. Very mixed.
CGs: Now the CGs are exactly what I would expect. You get one group CG that I’m sure you guys are tired of seeing since it is posted everywhere, including my title, menu, and LI group photo examples. Then you get two unique CGs per route, some with a few variations, but you can be assured you will get two unique ones for each LI. There is a gallery, so that’s cool. And I think the CGs are very pretty in their design and resolution quality. Since there are so few CGs that it’s pretty easy to remember what scenes I got more involved art of.
I do, however, have two complaints. Firstly, the CGs are not exactly accurate depictions of what is going on at the time. In at least one, the character is wearing the wrong costume; they were in the other one literally seconds before and then suddenly they’re in their second outfit. This isn’t the only inconsistency with the scene taking place, sometimes additional details are missing, or added in odd places. Okay, sure, it’s not a big deal, but it is a complaint. I want the art to reflect what is happening, not with many errors. Secondly, seven of the nine CGs are in the good ol’ slanted fashion. Like drawing a picture straight up and down was too difficult. I understand that sometimes the angles are used for drama, but you don’t have to add drama into fluffy-fluffed-fluff. Just let it be! I find the numerous angles a little on the ridiculous side. I also thought we got away from this. Is it making a comeback or is it still around and somehow I’ve missed it? I almost wish I could slant it more than that, but I can’t. The regular italics doesn’t do it justice.
Look at this Photograph Rating: 82%. For a free game, you get 9 CGs with art I like. I’m not sure I’ll be revisiting these outside of the game, but they’re good for what they’re good for.
UI/Mechanics: Nekopara - Catboys Paradise runs like any other standard visual novel. It does not have a skip feature, but seeing as how you don’t have any choices, and thus not any reason to pass over previously read text, there isn’t really a point for a skip feature. But what about skipping the common route so we can get to picking a new LI? Well, let me tell you about this nifty thing that happens when you start a new game: You get the option to go to route select or replay the common route. That’s pretty cool.
There are plenty of save files, I think. There’s a standard menu. Nothing out of the ordinary for anything in the game, and it’s easy to figure out what does what. No complaints from me. No way to get lost. Pretty straightforward.
What’s this button do? Rating: B. Nothing of note, and nothing to complain about.
Errors: I apparently only took one picture of a text error, and it’s slightly spoilery, so I can’t post it. The errors were rare to begin with, partly because the game is short, and partly because it was just translated well. I think it’s safe to say that there are only about 25 errors throughout the game, all of them text related, and most are just a missing word or a misspelling. Most are not noticeable either, so really, this game is golden.
Here there be Bugs Rating: Pass. The game came with its own bug zapper, so you’re getting perhaps a gnat or two that somehow made it past. Nothing that would cause damage, and not really noteworthy.
Background Music: There aren’t many tracks in this free game, but I didn’t dislike the music. I thought it was cute and suited to the story. It seemed to give this very playful atmosphere, and looped well along with being pieced together at the appropriate times between scenes. Nothing I’d go out of my way for, and nothing I’d really be interested in owning either.
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